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Posts Tagged ‘Mother’

“I don’t know how you get anything done.”  – my mom

“I don’t.” – me

I actually have really great kids, good kids, but what I wouldn’t give to have two more arms and hands.  I would be totally be ok with all the staring because I know everyone would be looking at me with envy.  I would have used those extra appendages to hold my unusually fussy baby while trying to make raspberry mango jam I was working on with my mom this afternoon.

Eyes in the back of my  head would also be handy for so many reasons that I know my fellow parents would recognize.  Today I would have used those eyes to watch my daughter swinging on her indoor jungle gym when she said, “Mom!  Look at meeeeee!”  while simultaneously stirring the raspberry mango jam.

What did I learn today?  That doing  all the above AND make granola at the same time may not have been the best idea.  At one point in the afternoon I asked my mom, “How did YOU get anything done with three kids?”

“You were all angels.” – mom

OK, that is a total lie.  I know, I was there, so she must be suffering from some sort of parental amnesia, whatever, it wasn’t helpful.  But things were done and now we’re all pooped and the kids went to bed pretty easily.

And so will I.

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I have made no secret about  my love of toast so this small batch will not last long at all in my house.  While very easy to do, I still find myself a little intimidated by the whole canning process. It’s that element of danger with all those bubbling, boiling fluids.  I only got splattered a couple times so I’m calling the day a success.  My goal is to continue with small batches to increase my confidence.  Luckily between my mom and my foodie sister I will be a pro in no time.

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I know I’ve talked about work before.  How much I enjoy my co-workers and what I do at my paying job.  It’s all true – I’ve been fortunate that way.  We’re also building a house which, FYI, isn’t a cheap undertaking no matter how much you’re doing yourselves.  So now might be the total wrong time to be resigning from my job in order to stay home full time with my girls, a stay at home mom being probably THE hardest job I’ve ever  had in my life.  Why in the world would I do such a crazy thing?!

I just look at these two little girls awestruck.  I cannot believe how quickly time is going by.  They really do grow up so fast.

I don’t want to miss a second of it.

It’s intimating though.  I don’t know if I have the patience or stamina to be a full time stay at home mom.  I want to make the most of this time right now but basking in the glow of their presence doesn’t seem too productive or especially enriching for them.  Daughter #1 is getting smarter by the second, I honestly don’t know how that is happening but she’s always surprising me.  Daughter #2 at 4 months of age is, well ,already 4 months old!

And to not physically go to a job.  Well, that’s not an especially natural feeling.  My paying job has always been a part of my identity and I do think I owe it to myself to acknowledge and mourn that as a loss because I enjoyed my job.  I’ll admit that I’m noticing a lot less stress about trying to get things done before going back to work or the clean-up/recovery after my work days.

Being able to stay at home with my girls is a gift, I am lucky to be home with them, and it will take sacrifice and it is also a job.  I don’t want to drift through my days with them and watch time pass us by.  I want our days to have purpose.  I’m just not sure how to go about creating that purpose quite yet…

Wish me luck!

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“See this mom?  This is Downward Dog.”

That child can bust out a beautiful downward dog like it’s nothing.

I’m envious, and inspired at the same time.

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